Nikki has tagged me with the 8 qualities of my perfect lover.

1. Mine.
2. She must have intelligence, I need to be able to converse with her and the mind is always sexier than the body alone.
3. She has to be adventurous and not afraid of her sexuality.
4. Patient and understanding in order to put up with me.
5. Sweet and caring with a big heart.
6. There has to be trust, both ways.
7. Willing to offer me her surrender and allow me to take care of her when she needs it.
8. In short - sweet, smart and sexy.

I'm supposed to tag 8 others, but if you feel like sharing go right ahead.

What a wonderful concept surrender is.  That moment when you see in her eyes the complete surrender, the ultimate trust.  The submission.

It's more than physical control, more than sexual pleasure.  It is not just the body, but the mind and the soul.  It's her trusting me enough to see inside, to expose herself fully.  To see the mind of a woman, to show her parts of herself she never knew, or was afraid to know, to teach and to strengthen where needed.  To take care of her.

Submission does not mean weakness.  There are a number of reasons why a woman (or man) would choose to surrender control.  Perhaps they need a respite from being in control themselves, perhaps it is just a matter of wanting to be taken care of for a while.  Perhaps it is the thrill of being "forced" to experience something they never could otherwise.

When control is mentioned in the realm of sexuality, many think of bondage, of physical restraint.  Bondage is a powerful, and enjoyable, exercise, yet what is more powerful is the psychological aspect of control.  The surrender of the body is simple, and the body can be taken by force, but the surrender of the mind is much more difficult and it must be done willingly.

Some may consider the desire for control a pathological response to past events, or a form of deviance.  There is no such thing as deviance, merely a choice of pleasures; morality is a construct and I have no use for the mores of society.  I have no desire for control in everyday life, only within that one, most intimate realm.

Silk before steel.  Lace before leather.

Tonight's topic shall be on sexuality, and in particular women's sexuality.  (yes I know this is my third post of the day but I am feeling verbose - and read the others or my fragile ego shall be bruised).

First I must preface this little treatise with the statement that I am a man.  You may take that for what it is worth.

This stems from a discussion I had with a friend on the topic and some thoughts I have had.  The premise is that still to this day, women's sexuality is oppressed and repressed by society.  Granted there has been great strides made in women's sexual rights from the pill to the Sexual Revolution to certain artists and performers that have pushed the boundaries.  There is still a stigma applied to women's sexuality.  If a woman enjoys sex too much, or has it too often, or with too many partners she is a slut.  (Just a personal aside, if a woman is in bed with me, I really don't mind her being a slut sometimes - and I promise I won't ask where you learned how to do that, I'll just enjoy).  A man in the same situation, well he is called a playa, or a dawg and may seem to be untrustworthy but he is not stigmatized.

A common example:

When a man and a woman have sex together the first time, odds are the man is going to try everything he can to impress the woman - the best moves are coming out and he holds very little back since his goal is more.  The woman however may not be as uninhibited.  She may think "he'll like it if I do this, but if I do that he'll think I'm just dirty."  As a man I put out the assumption that a woman being totally uninhibited without trusting the man is a rare thing.

Why has women's sexuality been repressed?  In some parts of the world a woman is stoned to death for adultery, even if it was rape.  And the man is not punished.  In some parts of the world clitorectomies are performed, in some cases the vagina is sewn shut.

One can make the argument, and it is the one I prefer, that when society moved to a monotheistic Judeo / Christian / Islamic belief system, women's sexuality became a dangerous thing.  You can read one of my past and more irreverent blogs here about some of that.  Women became evil, the cause of the downfall of man and our being cast out of Eden.  Oh, just to ruffle some more feathers, Eve was first.  Then Yahweh wanted in on the act and created Adam and...well that's for another day.  Prior to Judaism, the Hebrews were pagan with goddesses.

The issue is greater than a woman simply enjoying sex.  The empowerment of women (and I the above mentioned friend nearly died when I said that) leads to the solution of a great deal of global problems.  Take for example the surging population.  What areas of the world have population explosions?  Areas where women are not empowered.  The statistics prove it.  Look at the Western world - birth rates have fallen.  Why? Because women are having less children and having them later because they can control their reproduction.  They are in the work force.

I stand by my statement I made in the "google hits" post - Never fear your own sexuality.  And remember, there is no such thing as deviance, merely a choice of pleasures and naughty is good.

Any feedback or comments appreciated.  Advice wouldn't be bad either.

We've all done it - checked to see why google or other search engines have hit us.  I find it quite interesting.  From the one that likes to continuously search mybrainonline (just type the damn url will ya?) to the large amount of hits referencing scorpio.

The one today - "how to please a scorpio man sexually".  I actually get a lot of hits similar to that, along with ones like "naked photos of my wife blog".  Now, if you happen to be the one who searched the how to, or you are another searching along the same vein, feel free to ask and I will enlighten you (wink wink nudge nudge).  The email addy is top left.

Better yet, I'll share a little here now.

1. Give him control.  Yes we know it's an illusion.  No it doesn't have to be in all parts of life, just that one part.
2. Black silk.  Black silk teddy, black silk stockings, black silk ribbons.  You get the idea.  Combine with black high heels - not the thick ones that strippers wear, but slender, elegant heels. Or boots.  Tall  leather boots with a nice heel.
   
3. Be adventurous.  I promise we won't think badly of you.  Your boundaries will be pushed.
   
4. Be naughty.  Be very naughty.  But only with him, we do tend to be a little possessive.  And remember, there is nothing hotter than a outwardly "nice and sweet" girl who gets naughty in private.
5. Never fear your own sexuality.
6. A Scorpio man will want more than your body, he will want your mind, he will want to know your soul.  Be prepared for that.

Now, see what happens when I let my thoughts free?  From the innocuous title of google hits to this.

There really is no feeling like that combination of warm soft skin and silk pressed against you.  To look down into trusting eyes, to see inside her soul.  Sex is not a purely physical act, it is psychological and when with the right person - spiritual.  There is no such thing as deviant, merely a choice of pleasures.

Perhaps I should end here lest I frighten readers away.